


A Holy Man comes Marching in (to make her cry)

by NotHack Europa (CrazyCowLady)



Category: Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Christmas, Gen, Shit. Let's be Santa, Subtle Cruelty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28194456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyCowLady/pseuds/NotHack%20Europa
Summary: Dreading another winter filled with festive cheer, Kirei decides the perfect gift for himself is to ruin the Christmas of a lonely, little girl.
Kudos: 6





	A Holy Man comes Marching in (to make her cry)

It had been three months since he had elicited that first tear from the girl.

After watching her soldier on through the crest's transplant and her father's funeral, Kirei had finally managed to drag that tiny show of despair out of her by gifting her the Azoth Blade. It had been delightful.

He had been anticipating her sweet, sweet anguish, ever since he stabbed Tokiomi in the back, yet all he could attain was that one, brief moment.

Now, after having been separated from her for a while, his decision to leave for Europe felt like he ran with his tail between his legs.

 _Had_ he fled?

He wasn't a family man. He had no interest in raising a child. Leaving her to fend for herself was the natural thing for him to do.

Yet, his plan to watch the Tohsaka girl fall apart in grief had failed miserably, and the longer he stayed in Europe, the more it irked him. Sure, he had savoured that little moment while it lasted, but hadn't he promised himself much more?

This brooding was getting him nowhere. Kotomine Kirei shut the book he hadn't been reading for the past five minutes and rose. It was all because of that ridiculous Christmas cheer. Wherever he went, there were happy people frolicking in the streets, buying gifts for their loved ones in the grocery stores, or planning holiday feasts in the local parish. Well, the last one was to be expected.

It was no wonder that he grew restless. He needed release from all this.

Maybe...

It was a silly idea. Completely over the top and unnecessary. A waste of his time. He would have to organize plane tickets, fly all the way back to Japan, acquire the necessary equipment to pull off his plan...

But then again, wasn't that what he did best? Scheming to force elaborate scenarios purely for his own amusement?

Ah, he hadn't indulged himself ever since he handed that girl the dagger, and even before that, he had spent far too long trying to elicit a reaction from her with no payoff.

She had it coming.

Tough little mage.

Sure, it was petty, but no one had to know. Tohsaka herself was too proud to tell anyone about what he’d do. She'd rather die than lose face.

Yes, this would be between them. It would be his Christmas present to himself. This year, he would indulge himself.

* * *

Kirei stood in line at the airport amid tired mothers and fathers, hoping to be home in time for Christmas, whole families with screaming children, waiting to go on their holiday trips, and doting couples, on their way to a romantic retreat. The only thing keeping him sane was the prospect of his own, very special Christmas celebration.

Tohsaka Rin wasn't expecting him. The surprise was part of the plan.

At least he would spend his flight in relative quiet. Anything but first class had seemed inconceivable when booking his ticket. Not when he was already stressed.

He boarded the flight, finding his seat nice and separate from the next. It was an insurance against smalltalk with boring people or, much worse, happy people.

Even before the plane took off, a stewardess made the rounds, offering snacks and beverages. The wine was expensive, but as this entire trip was his own well-deserved Christmas present, Kirei didn’t mind.

As so often, he was thankful that Gilgamesh had taught him to appreciate the finer luxuries of life.

Once he had his drink, he leaned back, stretching his legs, and gave it a swirl, scenting its aroma.

While probably not worth the amount he paid for it, the wine was good – floral notes mixed with sweet spices and a memory of juicy, dark berries. A first sip revealed a crispy acidity flowing along the candied silkiness that left an afterthought of its minerality.

Ah, an interesting wine, indeed.

“Good wine?”

He closed his eyes, wishing away the intruder.

“Yes, it is.”

Only after he answered, did he realize that something was off. He turned towards the voice to confirm his suspicions. Of course, the King of Heroes would have the means to sniff out his plane and arrange seating right next to him despite it being Christmas Eve.

“I assume it’s no coincidence I’d find you in a seat right next to me?”

Gilgamesh chuckled, flagging down one of the waitresses to order his own wine.

“One could think you’d return to Japan to cheer up a child facing Christmas alone for the first time in her life, but I assume your plans are much more… entertaining. I couldn’t help myself.”

Of course he couldn’t.

“I don’t know how entertaining you’ll find them. I don’t plan on any carnage. At least not the physical kind,” he admitted. What he wanted to do was most likely trivial for someone like Gilgamesh.

“I don’t mind,” Gilgamesh shrugged, accepting his drink from the stewardess without looking at her. “From what I’ve seen of the world since the Holy Grail War, you would have to make an actual effort to disappoint me further than all these filthy mongrels crawling about.”

“Oh?”

Where had the King of Heroes been during their time apart? Surely, there must have been something interesting for him to pass the time, now that the world had changed so much.

“Haven’t you noticed?” Gilgamesh stared into his wine, giving it an absentminded twirl. “The entire world… it’s so…,” he trailed off before facing Kirei, his eyes boring into him. “Filled to the brim with humans.”

Ah. Well, that much was true.

“I believe you’ll find some areas in the rainforests devoid of human life. Also, you could give the more extensive deserts a shot. I hear they’re growing, too,” he suggested, more as a joke than anything else.

Gilgamesh grimaced at that. “It’s preposterous. A King shouldn’t have to flee into the remotest recesses of his garden to escape the vermin. If a pest gets out of control, isn’t one supposed to exterminate it?”

Exterminate? Kirei quirked an eyebrow.

“That sounds like an ambitious plan, to say the least.”

He didn’t get an answer as Gilgamesh opted to sip his wine in silence for a while.

* * *

They shared a taxi from the airport to a mall. This would be the hardest part of the plan. Kirei had to acquire the necessary items while fighting his way through the rabid crowd scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. 

The fact that Gilgamesh was tagging along behind him, increasingly agitated by the surrounding bustle, wasn’t doing him any favors either.

Now, instead of suffering from the Christmas spirit on his own, he also had to watch over his own personal time bomb, lest he have to clean up a mess should Gilgamesh find himself too bored to behave.

“You can wait for me outside, if it pleases you. There’s no need to endure this… experience,” he offered, but Gilgamesh rolled his eyes at him.

“Are you suggesting I can’t handle my own subjects?”

“As you wish,” Kirei gave up the argument, refocusing on the task at hand.

Since he knew what he needed, Kirei went straight to the information board to locate an appropriate shop.

There was something about Gilgamesh’s presence that let him easily cut through the masses, as if his authority compelled them to part for him. It was a truly amazing display.

Still, Kirei stopped them halfway to his destination to pick up a ridiculously huge stuffed teddy bear from a toy store. Gilgamesh eyed the unimaginative present with disappointment.

“Don’t worry. This one is the bait so she’ll think she’ll be able to handle my surprise without reacting too strongly. Once the relief sets in, I’ll hit her with a personal present.”

With that, he continued on his way to get said present.

Inside the clothing store, Kirei quickly found the section with the accessories – hats, scarves, cravats… and there they were: the ribbons.

He selected a pair in a deep red color, reminiscent of Tokiomi’s favorite coat, and headed to the counter with Gilgamesh.

The sales clerk scanned the ribbons with a smile.

“Wonderful selection. I’m sure your lucky lady will appreciate these. Do you want them giftwrapped?”

Kirei merely nodded, ignoring the misunderstanding. Thus, the clerk carefully folded the items, placed them into a green and red striped box, and tied it all together with a matching ribbon.

“Here you go, Sir.”

Kirei paid, before hurrying from the store.

“I can’t stop marvelling at how twisted you are, Kirei,” Gilgamesh noted outside the shop, eyeing the neatly wrapped present. “Still, I’d rather leave this dreadful place now that you have what you came here for.”

But they couldn’t yet. There were many things he still had to buy.

“I need some more props,” he explained, and the King of Heroes grimaced in disgust. If he wasn’t a terrifying fighter, it would be easy to mistake him for a spoiled child.

“Whatever it is you need for props, I’m sure we can find it in my treasury.”

Kirei doubted that. After all, they didn’t have Christmas when Gilgamesh was alive.

“I’ll need a Christmas tree, complete with decorations, and-” here he paused, eyeing the Heroic Spirit.

When he first planned this last bit, he had assumed that no one but Rin would see him. It was a bit embarrassing…

“And I’ll need a Santa costume.”

The other people in the mall continued pushing past them while Kirei waited in silence for Gilgamesh’s inevitable reaction.

Then, the other broke out into laughter, loud enough to turn heads, finding a pillar to hold onto as he held his stomach.

“Ahahaha, this is what I came here for, Kirei. This is exactly what I needed. This immaculate commitment to detail – it’s the purest form of evil. You should be grateful that I’m around to appreciate your effort.”

By then, the other shoppers were giving them some space, opting to pass them at a distance even if it meant squeezing into each other. Gilgamesh had always had a penchant for standing out in the worst way possible.

When he calmed down, he slapped Kirei on the back with a benevolent smile.

“Fret not. My treasury is endless. Of course I’d have acquired items as trivial as those by now.”

His eyes narrowed as he continued. “Now, let’s leave this dreadful place before I decide to get annoyed at your assumption that my treasury would be lacking anything, no matter how mundane.”

* * *

The tree was much more magnificent than anything Kirei would have procured. First of all, it was huge. The only space in the entire mansion he found for it was next to the staircase, where it reached halfway up to the second floor.

Then, there were the decorations. The Christmas tree came completely shrouded in countless baubles and lights, an amount he could never see himself using, even for this occasion, as it would take hours to put everything in place.

But Gilgamesh hadn’t stopped there. He had transformed the entire hallway into a Christmas wonderland of garlands and pines, with candles dotted along every flat surface available.

‘Maybe,’ Kirei wondered to himself, ‘someone has to look after that man.’

If this was what happened after less than a year of boredom, what would he get up to within the next decade? If Gilgamesh brought chaos upon the world, Kirei had to make sure he was right there with him, watching the disaster unfold instead of being caught in the crossfire.

“How long until Tokiomi’s brat is home?” Gilgamesh asked, giving his work an approving nod.

“School ends at five. She won’t take long to arrive afterwards.”

This meant they still had more than an hour to go. At this point, the excitement was getting to him. He hadn’t felt this way ever since Tokiomi’s burial, and even then, he only got what he wanted once he handed Rin the blade.

If she disappointed him today, he wasn’t sure what he would do. After all the trouble he went through… She had to react to it. There was no way she would withstand his efforts.

“I doubt Rin got rid of Tokiomi’s wine cellar. Fancy a drink to pass the time?” It would be like the good old times during the Holy Grail War. Just him and the King of Heroes, sharing a bottle of wine without any pesky stewardesses or fellow passengers around.

Together, they went to select a fitting vintage.

* * *

Rin would arrive any minute now. The Santa costume was ridiculous, and Gilgamesh had spent fifteen minutes straight laughing at him, but at least he had quieted down eventually and was hiding on the second-floor landing, where he had a great view of the spectacle while not giving away Kirei’s intentions.

Meanwhile, Kirei had gotten into character. If he wanted for this to have the expected effect, he needed to take it seriously to make up for the fact that he was terrible at it.

He had the hat on and everything, which meant that now he was Santa, if only for the evening. However, there hadn’t been an appropriate fake beard in Gilgamesh’s collection, and Kirei hadn’t dared upset the man further by going out to buy the item – that would only have confirmed that the treasury was indeed lacking it. Instead, Kirei had claimed that he couldn’t stand the way those things tickled him anyway.

Kirei was Santa, and Santa was caring and gentle, so he brought a present for the poor little soul that expected to spend the night in solitude. Since they hadn’t found a trace of Christmas decorations prior to their arrival, he assumed that Rin had opted to skip the holiday for the year. Best case scenario, it was due to the sorrow caused by her loved ones’ absence.

What had inspired him was a photograph that used to hang on the wall of Tokiomi’s office. It had stood out to him, when he first set foot inside the room, because it was so… un-mage-like.

In the picture, Tohsaka Tokiomi stood next to his wife, dressed up in a red and white costume, much like the one Kirei was wearing now, and holding two grinning girls. Rin was tugging at the fluffy white beard stuck to the man’s face, while Sakura was stretching to reach for the pompon hanging from the hat.

Back when he first saw the picture, he had asked Tokiomi about it. His teacher had smiled fondly at the memory, a rare show of softness, and told him how, that Christmas, he had gifted Sakura and Rin ribbons. He had combined a holiday loved by children with the practicality of magical tools.

The distinct sound of a key entering a lock ripped Kirei out of his musings, before the door opened and the Tohsaka heir herself entered.

She wore a festive winter coat herself, white fuzz lining the striped green fabric adorned with neat little bows.

Maybe she wanted to appear as if everything was fine on the outside. Perhaps she wanted people to think that she was enjoying the festive season, like everyone else.

Even her normal black ribbons were gone, replaced by matching dark green ones.

There was a short moment, before she realized that something was off, when Kirei could see her state of mind on full display. Her shoulders hunched as soon as she was through the door, and her head hung low. It was clear that she was tired from keeping up her meticulous appearances.

Then, her head snapped up, as she finally registered that her hallway didn’t look like her hallway at all anymore, and her eyes widened as she took everything in.

Kirei retained his poker face, stepping up to her.

Kirei was Santa.

And Santa took his job seriously.

He swooped up the girl with one arm before she could flee and pulled the stuffed teddy bear out from behind his back with the other, offering it to her.

This was the first part – a gift without much significance that she could handle with ease. It would lower her guard, as she would think that he had done his worst for the day.

Her eyes were glazed and her cheeks reddened as she clutched the stuffed animal, as if out of reflex.

“K-Kirei...”

She didn’t say any more, the words clearly stuck in her throat. Now, while she was still overwhelmed by everything that was going on, he would strike. Already, water was building in her eyes, and the tough Tohsaka heir had been reduced to an emotional little child.

He pulled the present from one of the oversized coat pockets and handed it over. The mix of red and green criss-crossing over the box blended the colors of both their outfits, in an ironic mockery of their relationship.

Perfection.

Taking a deep breath, the girl tugged on the red ribbon with one hand before lifting the lid, clutching the ridiculously huge teddy for dear life with the other.

She choked as the content was revealed, and Kirei had to fight hard to keep his features smooth.

“Merry Christmas, Rin,” he purred, and it was that last reminder of who held her, instead of her Father, that finally got the tears flowing. She started shaking as a first sob escaped her. Strangled sounds of a suppressed chuckle wafted down from upstairs before cutting off again.

Meanwhile, a comfortable warmth pooled in Kirei’s stomach as he held the bawling girl in his arms. He watched her closely, committing the image in front of him to memory – the glistening tears streaming across dark red cheeks, the closed eyes trying to shut out reality, and the lips that quivered despite her best efforts to squeeze them into a tight line. Today, he was his own Santa.

**Author's Note:**

> This short story is inspired by the 2015/17 Christmas event CE "March of the Saints".


End file.
